i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
