lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
