Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize