this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
