I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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