New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
