my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
