Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
