She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize