Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
