That's intense
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The air taste purple.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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