Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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