She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
