And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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