It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
