I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
