I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
