I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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