fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
