YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize