Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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