Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
