Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize