You're completely useless in the revolution.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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