nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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