it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize