Kiss
Puke
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
