Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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