I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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