32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
