this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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