I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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