Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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