if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
