what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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