I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
