thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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