some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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