She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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