How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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