Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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