just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
