haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
