Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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