pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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