You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
