I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
