Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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