I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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