You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
