Who did Billy Mays play for?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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