Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
