wat bout pragnant strippers??
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
