if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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