You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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