my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
