I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
