I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize