PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
