I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
