What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
