It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
