So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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