I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have fence marks all over my body
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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