im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize