Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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