dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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