You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
