this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
